Mary's blog

winds of change

Fun things have happened around the artichoke patch lately.  Big things as well.
Mihigna bought me a new van, a very smart, very stylish, 2007 Grand Caravan.
I LOVE IT!!! (Who knew I'd ever say that?)
That thing IS smart, it practically thinks for itself. It lowers the brights if someone is coming, and you forget to do it yourself... I'm SO guilty of that.
It knows when someone is not buckled up or has unbuckled their belt and sets off this annoying, LOUD, dinging until said offender has made things right.  This will come in handy when cunksi starts to go through her, unbuckling of the seatbelt phase. It is truly a fab van, I'm in love.

Wacipi season is just around the corner!!!! whoo hooo!!!!  Cunksi will make her debut at the USD wacipi in her adorable regalia, sooooo cute!!!!  I will be dancing as well, after a long three year hiatus. Wow, LONG time gone.  Much too long.
There is other news, but I'm not ready to share. Must go now, Cunksi needs abu.
Miye

Celebrate

We had the welcoming celebration for cunsi yesterday... it was so wonderful!
People said sweet things,wrote poems for her and S.M sang a song for her; cunsi loved it!  She knew it was all about her, (as all princesses do) and the food was fabu, (thanks to my mom and my friends.)
Of course, everyone brought her presents, really awesome sweet turtle things. It was great.
She is one loved little turtle!

New Baby

My friend had her baby!! He is soooooo cute!! I went to see them last night...  oh my gosh, I can't believe cunksi was that small once... even  smaller, since her baby was 7# 11oz. So tiny!!!!
It has gone by so fast, these last five months.. I can't believe it.  My friend had a hellish tiime with her delivery, poor thing... I'm glad she and the baby are ok.

I gotta go... cunksi is trying to stand on her head.....

I rarely have time to...

I rarely have time to post these days... so much of my time is wrapped up in a smallish sweet smelling, cuddly turtle.    Then when I do get on here, all I seem to do is talk about her, and I'm sure some of my readers are BORED by that.
Tough.
J.K. (only slightly)
I'm trying to find the balance of where she ends and I start again.  People keep asking if I'm writing or painting, or sculpting. The only writing I have done is the logs in her baby book. I have been painting... I have finished a series of paintings for nurseries that are for sale. Yey. But no real words on paper, of the literary type.
    I'm just absolutely engulfed by her. I think I will get up in the middle of the night, while she is asleep and write, but I can't tear myself away from the precious creature that lays beside me, I still wake up at night and stare at her, in wonderment, amazement and joy.   She nuzzles into me and she fits as perfectly outside me as she did when she was inside. 
i have two dear friends who are expecting soon. One is due this month and the other, next.  It will be exciting to see it all from the other side.  We've been all a chatter about the journey. It's been fun to watch others go through such an amazing wonderful time.
I must go now.

Maybe next time it will be about something not relating to my offspring.

While the little one throws her toys on the floor.

I'll take a moment to post.
Cunksi is about two months ahead of her milestones, so sh is learning the fun game of let's throw the toys on the floor and see if Ina will pick them up. 
Sorry sweet girl, I know that game.
 
    I am so over this cold ..... BITTER weather.
I'm ready for spring, green grass, budding trees and walking barefoot again.
 There will be new adventures to  be had with little one.. I can hardly wait.
ok...gotta run now  more later

More Perfect

Cunksi had her four month check up.

There were shots.
There were tears.

From both her and her Ate, which nearly made me cry, seeing him cry.(Nothing makes me cry faster than seeing my hubs cry.)   See, this was the first "shot" visit he attended with us, it was muchly hard on him. They are hard on me too, but I can't cry, I'm the Ina.  So I grit my teeth and bare it while I comfort her. Then there was boob, making all things better.

But before all that, the doctor checked her over and said to us: "She is beautiful. She is perfect."

(I knew I picked him for a reason.)

What else could parents ask for?

Perfect

It's almost christmas.

I'm home, hubby is home.

Cunksi is here this year.

Life is perfect.

At this time last year, I was horrifically ill and bed bound with pneumonia.

I was also pregnant, and didn't know it yet.

I was sick because I was coming off the last two hellish years I'd had since I could remember.

But even as I coughed and hacked my lungs out, cikala cunksi was growing and soon i would discover her presence.

Life would never be the same.

I'm glad.

She has made my life perfect. I love her, she is perfect, and I'm so honored to be her mother.

As I write this, she is in the other room with her Ate, they are dancing together, she has a huge smile across her face.

Next to her Ina, her Ate is her favorite person.

She is a mini me.  it is wierd to look in someone's tiny face and see your features staring back at you. 

Or see traits in someone else that you realize are your own.

Traits that are cute in a three month old.... tho I do have more pity for my husband now ... such a saint to live with me.

Two people created this beautiful, amazing, perfect creature; who already at three months knows she rules the roost and is the tiniest diva.

It's great.  

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

I was put on this earth to do a lot of things... but the most important thing I was brought here to do was be cunksi's Ina.

The honor is mine.

 

If it is awile before I check back in, merry christmas everyone. Happy holidays, enjoy them, may you get what you need in the new year. and what you want.

 

I'm wide awake, it's morning

Granted, it's four in the morning, but it is morning.

baby girl sleeps next to her Ate, and I frantically type this.

So, went to the doctor for her 2 month checkup.

guess how big??????

12.11!!!!!   Woo hooo!!!!

She has blown away her milestones, meeting them usually a month and a half before her "time". The baby  dr is impressed.

I got home from the dr's, put her in her bouncy seat, and she proceeded to go ahead and crawl out of it.

I kid you not.

She says, "milestones shmilestones... who needs em?" She is so smart.

She is feeling much better and for those of you out there who don't have children, just know that the baby's 2 month checkup is HELL!!  Because you have to get thier shots. Now, the actual getting of the shots was fine, there was some tears, but compared to the crying/screaming she did a few weekends ago when she was so sick, this was just a small shocked cry.

We left the office,  she was all happy and smiles. We got home and she was still all smiles. She took a short, very short, nap. Then hell broke loose. Her little legs were hurting from the shots. For the next several hours, I was trying to comfort my darling daughter who was screaming in pain. Heart wrenching. 

Thank God my mother in law was here, who held her  while I paced the floor and she told me that it was going to be ok, that this is normal and all babies have some after effects when they get their shots.   Not that i'm in this camp, but having gone through this, i can see why mothers nix the getting babies immunizations.  I know that what could happen to an unprotected child would be Waaaaay worse, but holy crap, that was horrible.  She is so small and she was in so much pain and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it, except hold her and comfort her; which seems so insignificant and not enough.  Hubby came home and had to hold me because I was nearly in tears.

and just think, we get to do it three more times!!! 

how fun. 

the good news, the very next morning.. she was back to her old self, all smiles and no pain.  

I gotta go now

miye

Wake up, it's Tuesday morning

I'm tired.

Today I left the house without baby girl, she was trying to take the bottle again.

I was a wreck. It's hard to be away from her, since she was born, we've seemingly been sewn to each other. She is a part of me, and when she isn't with me, I feel odd. 

 The good news is, she took the bottle and ate  well.!!!!!  I think it was the nipple. Being a new mom, i had no clue that there are certain nipples that babies won't like. So, I changed the nipple and voila! I think things will go smoother now.

yey.

 It's hard to be a breastfeeding mom and then have to surrender her to someone else to be fed. I know it is probably a natural part of her growth, but geez.... when you are that connected with a being.. it's hard to have that change.

 So, is anyone guessing how much she weighs now??????

 11. 2!!!!!

 The dr is excited over her rate of growth. As am I.

I was a bit worried, as we had a bit of a hellish weekend here.. I won't even go into the details... but she wasn't eating.

That scared the daylights out of me... she NEVER misses a meal!!!! She is a chowhound... so when she wasn't eating.. I was beside myself.

Things are better.

whew.

She is sleeping now, and I should be working.... I know i say that everytime I post.  It's hard though, because when I'm not with her, all I do is think of her, when I should be doing the things I can't get done when I have her in my arms.

I'm really exhusted.  I now understand why mothers are continually sleep deprived. It's a cycle that starts when they are born and continues.  

I don't lose sleep because of her being up.. she, like her parents, LOVES her sleep. She has always been a good sleeper... going for 5 hours at a time... once she even went for seven... but  usually it is five. 

After I feed her, I often find myself awake at 2 or 3, in the morning; she will be next to me, snoozing away and I'm wide awake. Thinking of her, worrying about certain things... thinking i should get up and do some work, but then wanting to snuggle down next to her tiny, adorable babyness, and cover her with kisses.  (She is so very kissable you know.) I want to get up and start projects I have been wanting to since she was born... but i never do. I try to go back to sleep because she is so small and adorable.... and I need the sleep.  I am then left with thoughts of when will I ever get back to work? when will i ever get any writing done again? Will I?  Or will this be the end of my writing career, until she is grown and off to college?

My writing seems so very small and insignificant in the face of the child I bore... but there are mornings, when the night is just slowly turning into day... that I miss being wrapped up in my writing.

Life continues, now more than ever, to be a balancing act.  

 

I'm back

Hard to belive baby girl is going to be two months old. ( In ten days.) Life continues to be amazing as I spend time with this beautiful being.

There are some fabulous things around the bend for hubby and I, nothing concrete right now, but by the third week of nov, things will be more set.  New adventures to be had, and I'm really excited.

The new book is out! I can't believe it, (it has only been 4 or 5 years in the making, due to publishing glitches, funding and editors getting sick.) It's really amazing.. they sent us the gally, and it was really powerful just like that. But to see it in print now, is mind blowing.  I'm in the company of  some amazing writers!  I'm honored to be too!  It has been a long time coming, but it is going to make a difference in a lot of people's lives.   Which is what I think writing is supposed to do.

Baby girl is alseep right now, and I should be working.... but I'm not. I need to eat something... I've dropped so much weight from breastfeeding, I'm looking gaunt and emaciated. I had no clue how much breastfeeding would take out of me. Then many days I don't really get to eat until hubby gets home... I'm so busy taking care of Cunksi. It's funny because someone said to me: baby's gaining weight and getting bigger, but you are getting smaller.  I am just glad she is growing so well. That is all that matters ultimately. And it's nice to see that what I am doing for her is making a difference. Good food and lots of love, that is what makes babies grow!

OH!

Happy Holloween! If you come to my house to trick or treat.. you will see baby girl in her cute little costume. I was going to go out trk or trting wiht my sis and her kids... our annual thing.. but it's too cold for a baby girl!  So, we'll stay home and give out the yummies!

Have fun and get lots of treats!!!!